Explore Ranger Rick’s collection of awesome wildlife jokes and try to get a giggle or two out of your friends and family. Hit “Show Answer” to reveal each punchline.
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What do peanut butter and jelly do around the campfire?
Tell toast stories.
All Jokes
Tap any joke to see the answer.
What were prehistoric sleepovers called?
Dino-SNORES.
What's a bee's favorite musical?
Stinging in the Rain.
What kind of cow wears a crown?
A dairy queen.
What do turkeys like to eat for dessert?
Apple Gobbler.
Why do storks have so little money?
They have such big bills.
Which reptile always knows what time it is?
A grandfather croc.
Are the moon and Earth good friends?
Yes, they've been going around together for years.
Can a horse join the army?
No, the Neigh-vy.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their little yellow jackets.
Can you buy a ticket today for a trip to the moon?
No, sorry. The moon is full right now.
Did you hear the story about the skunk?
Never mind—it stinks.
How are migrating birds different from flies?
Birds fly, but flies don't bird.
How can you make your money go far?
Put your piggy bank in outer space.
How can you tell if a bee is talking on a cell phone?
You get a buzzy signal.
How can you tell which end of a worm is the head?
Tickle it in the middle, see which end laughs.
How can you tell worms from spaghetti?
Worms can hang on to your fork.
How come frogs are such good liars?
Because they're amFIBians.
How did one calf finish his math problems faster than the other?
It used a COW-culator.
How did the duck get rid of its headache?
With quack-upuncture.
How did the farmer count his herd of cattle?
He used a COWculator.
How did the frog cross the road?
Its cousin toad it.
How did the hammerhead shark do on his math test?
He nailed it.
How did the horse get a soda?
He gave the vending machine a buck.
How did the snake escape from jail?
It scaled the wall.
How do baby geese get out of their shells?
They follow eggs-it signs.
How do birds fly in the rain?
They use wing shield wipers.
How do birds keep in shape?
They do a lot of eggs-ercises.
How do bulls pay for their groceries?
They charge them.
How do cats keep their breath fresh?
They use mouse wash.
How do chickens keep in shape?
They do lots of EGGSercises.
How do cows find their way home?
They follow the Milky Way.
How do deer keep their coats looking good?
They use pine combs.
How do dentists fix dragon teeth?
With a fire drill.
How do dolphins make important decisions?
They flipper a coin.
How do elephants communicate with each other?
By elephone.
How do fish start their fairy tales?
Once upon a SLIME.
How do fleas travel?
They itch hike.
How do ghosts greet each other on New Years Day?
"Happy Boo Year!"
How do groups of whales listen to music?
They use their I-PODS.
How do jackrabbits keep cool in the desert?
The use ear-conditioning.
How do monkeys go downstairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
How do ocean creatures cross the ocean?
By taxi crab.
How do porcupines communicate?
Through spine language.
How do porcupines hug and kiss?
Very carefully.
How do porcupines play leapfrog?
Very carefully.
How do rabbits keep in shape?
They do HARE-obics.
How do rabbits travel?
In HARE-planes.
How do robins find their way to their nesting places?
They follow the "eggs-it" signs.
How do robins start their exercise routine?
With worm-ups.
How do skeletons send their mail?
By bony express.
How do slugs get up mountains?
They slime to the top.
How do snails get their shells all shiny and clean?
They use snail polish.
How do snails greet each other?
"Long slime, no see."
How do snails start their fairy tales?
Once upon a slime.
How do snakes sign their letters?
With hugs and hisses.
How do termites travel?
By chew-chew train.
How do snails begin their fairy tales?
Once upon a slime.
How do turkeys wake their friends on Thanksgiving morning?
With alarm clucks.
How do tyrannosaurs like their eggs?
Terri-fried!
How do wasps communicate?
Through bee-mail.
How do weeping willows remove splinters?
With tree-zers.
How do you divide an ocean in half?
Use a sea saw.
How do you find a cheetah at night?
Use a spot light.
How do you find your mosquito bites?
Start from scratch.
How do you fix a smashed jack-o'-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rock-it.
How do you get a frog off your back car window?
Use a rear-window defrogger.
How do you keep a buffalo from charging?
Take away its credit card.
How do you keep a dragon from going through the eye of a needle?
Tie a knot in its tail.
How do you keep a stinky salmon from smelling?
Hold its nose.
How do you know when a bee is talking on the phone?
You hear a buzzy signal.
How do you know when a fish is playing hooky?
When it's not in a school.
How do you know when a vampire bat is deathly sick?
It can't stop coffin.
How do you know when a vampire is deathly sick?
It can't stop coffin.
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funny bone.
How do you make a whale float?
Two scoops of ice cream, root beer, and a whale.
How do you make a witch itch?
Take out the "W".
How do you make friends with a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
How do you milk an ant?
First you get a really low stool.
How do you read a book about plants?
You leaf through it.
How do you say goodbye to sick alligator?
"See you later, illigator."
How do you spell mouse trap with 3 letters?
C-A-T
How do you spell mousetrap with three letters?
C-A-T
How do you stop a stinky fish from smelling?
Hold its nose.
How do young deer call each other?
They use a tell-a-fawn.
How does a cat succeed in life?
Through purr-sistence.
How does a dolphin make bread?
With All-Porpoise Flour.
How does a dolphin wash its flippers?
With an all-porpoise cleaner.
How does a firefly start a race?
Ready, set, glow!
How does a fish feel when it gets caught stealing bait?
GILL-ty.
How does a flower ride a bike?
With its petals.
How does a lion like its steak?
Medium-roar.
How does a mother kangaroo tell time?
With her pocket watch.
How does a mountain goat mom call her baby?
"Here, kiddle, kiddle!"
How does a mouse disguise himself?
He wears a mousetache.
How does a mouse feel after a bath?
Squeaky clean.
How does a penguin feel after its friend moves away?
Ice-olated.
How does a skunk put out a fire?
It uses an ex-stink-guisher.
How does a slug go fishing?
On a snail boat.
How does a sponge spend its free time?
It soaks up some fun.
How does a tree get into the Internet?
It logs on.
How does a turtle call its friends?
With a shell phone.
How does a turtle get to the top floor?
In a shell-evator.
How does an octopus pay its bills?
With sand dollars.
How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
How is a wall light switch like a penguin?
They both have flippers.
How many birds can sing a duet?
Toucan.
How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Can't tell. They scatter as soon as the light turns on.
How many frogs would fit in your glass of water?
Toadly too many.
How many mice can an owl eat?
OWL of them!
How many skunks live in a neighborhood?
Quite a phew.
How much does a pile of bones weigh?
A skele-TON.
How much seafood does a crab eat?
Just a pinch.
In an emergency, whom do you call for a sick rabbit?
A hare-a-medic.
Is chicken soup good for you?
Not if you're the chicken!
Is turkey soup good for you?
Not if you're the turkey!
What part of a salmon weighs the most?
Its scales.
Whos brown and white and dangerous?
A cow on a skateboard.
What do you call a sleeping male cow?
A Bulldozer.
What ancient cat solved mysteries?
The saber-SLEUTH tiger.
What animal can you find in the military?
An army-dillo.
What animal hibernates while standing on its head?
Yoga bear.
What animal sewed the first American flag?
Betsy Ross.
What's an aardvark's favorite pizza topping?
Ant-chovies.
What's smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
What does a lemur pirate say?
"Aye-aye, matey!"
What makes a jellyfish laugh?
A fowl smell.
How do bees get to school?
They take the school buzz.
How do ghosts greet each other on New Year's Day?
"Happy Boo Year!"
How do jackrabbits keep cool in the desert?
They use ear-conditioning.
How do robins find their way to their nesting places?
They follow the "egg-sit" signs.
How do snails greet each other?
"Long slime, no sea."
How do tyrannosaurus like their eggs?
Terri-fried!
How do you find your mountain bike?
Start from scratch.
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rock it.
How do you get a frog off your back car window?
Use a rear-window de-frogger.
How do you know when a vampire bat is sick?
It can't stop coffin.
How do you say good-bye to a sick alligator?
"See you later, alligator."
How does a fish feel when it gets caught stealing bait?
Gill-ty.
How does a mountain goat mom call her baby?
"Here, kiddie, kiddie!"
How does a mouse disguise himself?
He wears a mouse-tache.
How many parents does a dog have?
Five: one ma and four paws.
What's brown and white and dangerous?
A cow on a skateboard.
What ancient cat solved mysteries?
The saber SLEUTH-tiger.
What animal sewed the first American flag?
Bat-sy Ross.
What are a dog's favorite pizza toppings?
Pepperoni and muttzarella.
What are a toad's favorite games in Ranger Rick?
Cross-wart puzzles.
What are flies most afraid of?
The SWAT team.
What are sad cranberries called?
BLUEberries.
What are skunks so smart?
They make a lot of scents.
What are soldiers called after their wedding?
Newly weds.
What barks, chases cats, and has black and red spots?
A Dalmatian with measles.
What baseball team goes best with milk?
The Baltimore Oreos.
What bear likes to go out in the rain?
Drizzly bears.
What bird is the greatest artist?
Leonardo da Finchy.
What bird shows up at every meal?
A swallow.
What birds always get out of breath when migrating?
Puffins.
What bug caused the computer to crash?
The Inter-gnat.
What button on the remote does a kitten use the most?
The paw-s button.
What can alligators do if they lose their tails?
Go to the re-tail store.
What can you use to catch a school of fish?
Bookworms.
What carries flowers and cheers you up when you're sick?
A get well-ephant.
What chirping insect runs really fast?
The quicket.
What could a rabbit be arrested for if it ran through a garden?
Disturbing the peas.
What cuts lawns and gives 100 glasses of milk each day?
A lawn moo-er.
What did Mars say when its neighbor was born?
Happy Earth Day!
What did one autumn leaf say to the other?
"I think I'm falling for you."
What did one bat say to the other bat?
"Let's hang out together."
What did one egg ask the other egg?
"Heard any good yolks lately?"
What did one firefly say to the other?
"You glow girl!"
What did one goose say when it stomped on another's goose's foot?
"Ex-goose me!"
What did one honeybee say to the other while working in the hive?
"This job is sweet!"
What did one horse say to the other at the dance?
"You mustang-o with me."
What did one melting icicle say to the other icicle?
"Hang in there!"
What did one tick say to the other when a jogger ran by?
"Let's grab some fast food."
What did the astronaut cook for breakfast?
An unidentified frying object.
What did the astronaut think when he found bones on the moon?
The cow didn't make it.
What did the baboon use to fix its car?
A monkey wrench.
What did the beaver say to the tree?
"It's been nice gnawing you."
What did the beaver say when it heard a chainsaw?
"They're playing my song!"
What did the bee ask for at the barber shop?
A buzz cut.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
"Hey, bud!"
What did the boy rodent say to the girl rodent?
"I gopher you."
What did the canary say when its cage fell apart?
"Cheap, cheap, cheap!"
What did the cop say when he caught a snowman stealing?
Freeze!
What did the cow say to her boyfriend?
"You're adora-bull!"
What did the cow shout out in a traffic jam?
"Moooove along!"
What did the vampire bat say about his girlfriend?
It was love at first bite.
What did the vampire bat say to its friend when it came home?
"It was fang-tastic."
What did the volcano say after it erupted?
"It's a lava-ly day!"
What did the waiter say to the skunk?
"I can't take your ODOR, sir!"
What did the waiter say to the turkeys in the restaurant?
"Waddle it be?"
What did the water drops say on their wedding day?
I dew.
What did the witch say as she turned into rooster?
Cockle-doodle-BOO!
What did the wolf have for breakfast?
Rice Krisp-fleas.
What did the wolf say to the moose?
"Catch you later!"
What do alligators have that no other animals have?
Baby alligators.
What do alligators ride on to get to the top floor?
An elli-vator.
what do angelfish say to each other when they meet?
Halo.
What do ants say to giraffes?
"High there!"
What do ants use for hula hoops?
Cheerios.
What do astronauts put their food on?
Flying saucers.
What do baby chicks like on their pizza?
Peep-eroni.
What do baby kangaroos wear to keep warm?
Jump-suits.
What do bats like to do after school?
HANG out with their friends.
What do beavers eat for lunch?
Grilled trees sandwiches.
What do bees like to chew?
Bumble gum.
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets.
What do bumblebees wear to the beach?
BEE-kinis.
What do butterflies sleep on?
Caterpillows.
What do caterpillars eat?
Mousepillars.
What do cats call mice on skateboards?
Meals on wheels.
What do cats cook when they're in a hurry?
Minute Mice.
What do cats eat at birthday parties?
Cake and mice cream.
What do cats like on their birthday cakes?
Mice-ing.
What do cats like to roast over the fire?
Mouse-mallows.
What do cats never eat for lunch?
Breakfast and dinner.
What do cats put on after a bath?
Purr-fume.
What do cats put on their hot dogs?
Mousetard.
What do chickens lay in outer space?
Egg-stra terrestrials.
What do Christmas trees drink at parties?
Root beer.
What do clams like to do at birthday parties?
Shell-ibrate.
What do cowboys say when their horses get too rowdy?
"Saddle down!"
What do cows like to read?
Cattle-logs.
What do cows say on December 25?
Moo-ey Christmas.
What do crows like to do at the park?
Go on a peck-nic.
What do Dalmatians say after eating?
"That really hit the spots!"
What do dogs do when they're scared?
They flea.
What do dogs like best about playing baseball?
Walks.
What do dogs use in the winter to keep their ears warm?
Ear-ruffs.
What do dragons put in their soup?
Fire crackers.
What do ducks like to eat for dinner?
Quackeroni and cheese.
What do ducks like to munch on?
Saltine Quackers and Quacker Jacks.
What do ducks puts on their tacos?
Quack-amole.
What do female grizzlies wear in their hair?
Bear-ettes.
What do female sheep wear to work?
Ewe-niforms.
What do fireflies like to read?
Matchbooks.
What do fireflies tell their babies at night?
"Glow to sleep."
What do fish have to pay the government?
Fincome Tax.
What do fleas do when they're stuck in the middle of nowhere?
Itch hike.
What do flowers call their young friends?
Buds.
What do frogs order at fast food restaurants?
French flies and croaks.
What do frogs wear to keep their feet cool?
Open toad shoes.
What do geese say when they bump into each other?
"Ex-goose Me!"
What do geese take for their allergies?
Anti-hiss-tamines.
What do ghosts like to ride in the moonlight?
Night mares.
What do gorillas learn in school?
Their APE-B-Cs.
What do grasshoppers like to read?
Hop-up books.
What do grizzlies take to their caves during hibernation?
The bear necessities.
What do heroes like on their sandwiches?
Mayo-nnights.
What do inchworms like to eat?
Inchiladas.
What do insects always take to the beach?
Their buggy-boards.
What do insects celebrate on July 4th?
Independ-ants Day.
What do insects use to send messages?
Beemail.
What do kittens like to read every morning?
The MEWSpaper.
What do koalas do on weekends?
They spend koala-ty time with their parents.
What do lambs use when they go camping?
Sheeping Bags.
What do lazy dogs chase?
Parked cars.
What do lions eat for breakfast?
Shredded Meat.
What do little bears drink?
Cub Soda.
What do little dogs say to each other on January 1st?
"Yappy New Year!"
What do little trees say on Halloween?
TWIG or treat.
What do macaws wear when they skydive?
PARROTchutes.
What do mice use to floss their teeth?
String cheese.
What do mice wear to school on gyms days?
Squeakers.
What do monkeys like bananas?
They're so a-peel-ing.
What do monsters work on in science class?
Ex-scary-ments.
What do moon dogs do at night?
Howl at the Earth.
What do moon people do after they get married?
They go off on their honeyearth.
What do mother snails give their kids when they misbehave?
SLIME outs.
What do panda ghosts say on Halloween?
BamBOO!
What do pandas do when people take their picture?
Grin and BEAR it.
What do patriotic monkeys sing?
The Star-Spangled Banana.
What do peanut butter and jelly do around the campfire?
Tell toast stories.
What do penguins like to ride?
Ice-cycles.
What do penguins order at the fast food restaurant?
Ice-bergers.
What do penguins ride on?
Ice-cycles.
What do polar bears like to eat?
Brrr-itos.
What do porcupines say when they hug and kiss?
Ouch!
What do rabbits like to eat on hot days?
Hop-sicles.
What do rabbits use to keep their fur in place?
Hare spray.
What do really hungry birds say to each other?
"Long time, no seed."
What do reindeer learn in school?
Their Sleigh-B-Cs.
What do Santa's animals wear when it rains?
Rain-gear.
What do sea creatures eat for dessert?
Sponge cake.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
What do sea turtles eat for lunch?
Peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches.
What do sharks like to eat for lunch?
Submarine sandwiches.
What do sharks put on their toast?
Jelly-fish.
What do sheep like on hot dogs and hamburgers?
Baa-baa-que sauce.
What do skeletons need from the grocery store?
Spare ribs.
What do Smokey the Bear and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name.
What do snakes do after they fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do snakes eat when they're on a diet?
Salad-manders.
What do snowmen call their fancy holiday party?
A Snow Ball.
What do Spanish geese say when they fly away from each other?
"Adios, ami-goose."
What do spiders eat with their hamburgers?
French flies.
What do spiders like to do at the beach?
Surf the web.
What do squirrel robots eat?
Nuts and bolts.
What do T. Rexes make when they go camping?
Dino-smores.
What do trees do at football games?
ROOT for their team.
What do turtles fly in?
Shell-icopters.
What do turtles use to cover their bathroom floors?
Rep-tiles.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What do whales use to keep their playing cards together?
Blubber bands.
What do white bears wear on their heads?
Polar ice caps.
What do wild African dogs carve on Halloween?
Jackal-lanterns.
What do witches say when they meet?
"Hi! Wart's new?"
What do wolves celebrate every October 31?
Howl-oween.
What do wolves do at night on the moon?
Howl at the Earth.
What do wolves say when they meet you?
"Howl are you?"
What do you call a bear that delivers Christmas presents?
Santa Claws.
What do you call a bear that wears earmuffs?
Anything you like--it can't hear you!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a beautiful picture that a mouse drew?
A mouseterpiece.
What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
A maybee.
What do you call a bee that complains a lot?
A grumble-bee.
What do you call a big dog with a bad cold?
A Germy Shepherd.
What do you call a big, gray mammal that's tired of running?
An ele-pant.
What do you call a bird that cleans its nest?
A feather duster.
What do you call a bowl of falling fruit?
An apple-lanche.
What do you call a group of kittens that play baseball?
The Litter League.
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Hump-free.
What do you call a carrot that insults a rabbit?
A fresh vegetable.
What do you call a cat that drinks lemonade instead of milk?
A sourpuss.
What do you call a cat that naps on a lamp?
A light sleeper.
What do you call a caterpillar that falls into a volcano?
Hot larva.
What do you call a city dog?
A downtown hound.
What do you call a cold donkey?
A brrr-o.
What do you call a cow that can't give any milk?
An udder failure.
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A moo-sician.
What do you call a cow that won't give milk?
A milk dud.
What do you call a cow that you can't see?
Invisi-bull.
What do you call a crab that never shares?
A shellfish shellfish.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats lemons?
A dino-sour.
What do you call a dog that studies the bones it digs up?
A barky-ologist.
What do you call a fat jack-o'-lantern?
A plumpkin.
What do you call a fish that designs buildings?
A shark-itect.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter.
What do you call a frog stuck in the mud?
Un-hoppy.
What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears?
Anything you want!
What do you call a group of cats marching down the street?
A purr-ade.
What do you call a group of killer whales playing musical instru
An orca-stra.
What do you call a hippo in a convertible?
STUCK!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
Pouch potato.
What do you call a lizard that tells jokes on stage?
A stand-up chameleon.
What do you call a messy baby kangaroo?
A sloppy joey.
What do you call a monkey that can fly?
A hot air baboon.
What do you call a moose that works out?
MOOSE-cular.
What do you call a muddy pig?
Filthy rich.
What do you call a nervous toad?
A worry wart.
What do you call a polar bear in Hawaii?
Lost.
What do you call a polar bear that delivers Christmas presents?
Santa Paws.
What do you call a pooch that lives in Alaska?
A chilly dog.
What do you call a rabbit owned by an insect?
A bug's bunny.
What do you call a reptile that brings you food in a restaurant?
An alliwaiter.
What do you call a reptile that robs a bank?
A crookodile.
What do you call a reptile that's a detective?
An investi-GATOR.
What do you call a roly-poly with soft armor?
An arma-pillow.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your Highness.
What do you call a shark that can eat an elephant?
Jawsome.
What do you call a sheep covered with chocolate?
A Hershey baaaa.
What do you call a sick reptile?
An illigator.
What do you call a skunk sitting on the back of a car?
Bumper stinker.
What do you call a skunk that can predict the future?
A fortune smeller.
What do you call a skunk that has disappeared?
Ex-stinked.
What do you call a skunk that stands out from all other skunks?
Dis-stinktive.
What do you call a sled dog that lives in Alaska?
A chilly dog.
What do you call a smart group of trees?
A brainforest.
What do you call a snake that has eaten too much candy?
A hyper viper.
What do you call a snake that leads an orchestra?
A boa conductor.
What do you call a snake that tells jokes?
HISS-terical.
What do you call a snowman on a warm summer day?
A puddle.
What do you call a soft and cuddly pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a stegosaurus with a broken bone?
Dino-sore.
What do you call a story about small horses?
Pony tales.
What do you call a turtle that likes to travel?
A tour-toise.
What do you call a wet beagle?
A soggy doggy.
What do you call a whale that never stops talking?
A blubber-mouth.
What do you call a world without pandas?
UnBEARable.
What do you call a young deer that eats grass?
A lawn mower.
What do you call a young punk frog?
A radpole.
What do you call an acorn in outer space?
An astronut.
What do you call an alligator that swims too close behind other animals?
A tail-gator.
What do you call an animal that eats automobiles?
A car-nivore.
What do you call an arctic turtle?
A snowpoke.
What do you call an eagle that draws well?
Talon-ted.
What do you call an elephant in bed?
A heavy sleeper.
What do you call an insect that performs magic?
Hocus pocus locust.
What do you call an old fish?
A sea-nior citizen.
What do you call an old male dog?
Grand paw.
What do you call an overweight kitten playing baseball?
A fat cat up to bat.
What do you call an owl in shining armor?
A knight owl.
What do you call an owl that plays the piano?
TALON-ted.
What do you call five frogs stacked together?
A toad-em pole.
What do you call gulls that live by the bay?
Bagels.
What do you call it when a bunch of giraffes get tangled up?
A giraffe jam.
What do you call it when an octopus tangles its tentacles?
Scrambled legs.
What do you call mice that travel in space?
MOUSEtronauts.
What do you call money that ant moms give to their young?
Allow-ants.
What do you call old macaws?
Grandparrots.
What do you call pests that bite moose in winter?
Arc-ticks.
What do you call shoes made from banana peels?
Slippers.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand into a shark's mouth?
Lefty.
What do you call someone who's crazy about hot chocolate?
A cocoa-nut.
What do you call the biggest and meanest ostrich?
The boss-trich.
What do you call the sounds a T. rex makes when it sleeps?
Dino SNORES.
What do you call two happy peregrine falcons?
Pair-a-grins.
What do you call two octopuses that look exactly alike?
I-tentacle twins.
What do you call a rodent that wants a backyard all to itself?
A ground hog.
What do you do if you see three skeletons chasing you?
Hope it's Halloween!
What do you do with a rabbit eating the dictionary?
Take the words right out of its mouth.
What do you get from a cow after an earthquake?
Milk shakes.
What do you get from a nervous cow?
Milkshakes.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get if you combine a peacock with a cell phone?
A squawky talkie.
What do you get if you cross a deer cousin with an insect?
A moose-quito.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
A jump rope.
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a bird?
Broken telephone wires.
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a Cadillac?
A car with a really big trunk.
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you get if you open your moth in a tornado?
A tongue twister.
What do you get when a dragon jumps into the ocean?
A heat wave.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes?
Out of the way!
What do you get when an elephant steps on a skunk?
A smellephant.
What do you get when two or more ducks collide?
A quacksident.
What do you get when you blow warm air into a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.
What do you get when you cross a balloon with a porcupine?
A loud pop.
What do you get when you cross a bat and a bell?
A ding bat.
What do you get when you cross a bear with a skunk?
Winnie-the-pew.
What do you get when you cross a bee with a gorilla?
Sting Kong.
What do you get when you cross a bee with a seagull?
A beagle.
What do you get when you cross a big cat and a forest?
Tiger Woods.
What do you get when you cross a bighorn sheep with a mosquito?
Baa, humbug.
What do you get when you cross a bug with a car's windshield?
Squash.
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
What do you get when you cross a cheetah with a turtle?
A speed limit.
What do you get when you cross a chick with a rabbit?
Peeper Cottontail.
What do you get when you cross a clown with a goat?
A silly billy.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an alligator?
A megabite.
What do you get when you cross a dog, a bird, and a Ford?
A flying car-pet.
What do you get when you cross a duck with a rooster?
Woken up at the quack of dawn.
What do you get when you cross a female horse with a bear?
A grizzly mare.
What do you get when you cross a flower with an ape?
A chimp-pansy.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a french fry?
A potatoad.
What do you get when you cross a groundhog with Michael Jordan?
Six more weeks of basketball.
What do you get when you cross a guard dog with a duck?
A Rott-Waddler.
What do you get when you cross a hen and a shark?
Chicken of the sea.
What do you get when you cross a male deer with a female kangaroo?
A buckaroo.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a toad?
A wart-hog.
What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon?
A loud pop.
What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a turtle?
A slow poke.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a chef?
A cook-a-doodle-doo.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a math teacher?
Snappy answers.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowball?
Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross a skunk with a fairy?
Stinkerbell.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a mouse?
A swallow.
What do you get when you cross a tree with a broom?
A sweeping willow.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow-poke.
What do you get when you cross a vulture with a bee?
A buzzzzzard.
What do you get when you cross a worm and an elephant?
Really big tunnels.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a computer?
A mega-bite.
What do you get when you cross an earthquake with a forest fire?
Shake and bake.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?
Broken telephone wires.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer?
A five-ton know-it-all.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a ghost?
A great, big nothing.
What do you get when you mix a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie-talkie.
What do you give a deer for an upset stomach?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What do you give a dog when it has a stomachache?
Pup-to Bismol.
What do you give a mouse with bad breath?
Mousewash.
What do you say when you greet a ghost owl?
How do you boo-oo-oo?
What do you think about the middle of cherries?
They're the pits.
What do you think of toucan riddles?
More than toucan be too many.
What do you use to measure how far a kangaroo jumps?
A kanga-ruler.
What do young birds like on their pizza?
Peep-eroni.
What do young cats like to read?
Kitty litter-ature.
What do young cats wear on their paws?
Kitten mittens.
What do young dogs like to carve for Halloween?
Pup-kins.
What do young fish learn in school?
A-B-Seas.
What does a baby heron call its parents?
Mother and feather.
What does a baby snake wear?
A viper diaper.
What does a bat eat on its birthday?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What does a bear use to groom its fur?
A honey comb.
What does a bee call its hive?
Comb, sweet, comb.
What does a bee suffer from if it visits too many flowers?
High bud pressure.
What does a bee wear when it goes jogging?
A swarm up suit.
What does a buffalo in Italy say?
"I'm going to Rome."
What does a canary say on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet!
What does a cardinal train conductor say?
"All A-BIRRRD!"
What does a chameleon want to do on the first day of school?
Blend in.
What does a crow drink with a doughnut?
Black caw-fee.
